This morning I took my daily writing class from the amazing Ann Randolph. This picture (at the bottom) and quote below were given as a prompt (If you haven’t taken her online class, I strongly recommend if you have any interest in writing… It fills my soul) Some days the prompts cause memories to pop up, some days stories are created, some days facts are written, others fiction. Today, I related.
The quote was… “Your head is a living forrest full of songbirds”… Do you ever relate? Cause mine is filled with them… from everything from the peaceful songbird to the goofy grunt of the flamingo, at rare times, the hoot of wise owl, most of the time it feels like the loon’s yodel… Some songs, some noise, yet they all manage to exist together up there. Up in the 'ol hair nest. What came out today was a poem… which felt appropriate with all I’m going through in this search, this loopy journey of finding my biological family. I sent the ancestry kit in… I'm patiently awaiting the results. (Wink) I still haven’t heard back from Joel (pretty sure I scared him (Sad emoji)) So, yesterday, I reached out to 4 of the closest DNA matches under him on 23 and me. All either second cousins or once removed… BUT… two of my second cousins, from the state my family is from, immediately got back to me with names of their grandparents and biological fathers that would be cousins to my parents. Then, last night, one of my first cousins, once removed, sent a message that she is looking into the possible connections and will get back to me. So… I’m on my way. SLOWLY. But, making progress. Like a detective, searching every lead. Meanwhile, the birds sing. And I let them… Here’s my poem if you’re interested… We’ll see what happens next… and I promise to keep you posted. ;) My head is a nest Stuffed with different birds Different species Different voices Different calls, songs and squawks At times I try to ignore them I turn the other cheek, Pretend I don’t hear their screeching Hoping no one else can notice my birds Swirling, dancing in my head. The birds that never sleep That want to be heard As they belt out from their hearts Keeping themselves company Celebrating their life Bouncing form branch to branch, Subject to subject At times, I let them chirp and screech without notice Other times they’re songs are all I hear While other moments, I feel they are Pulling me apart Away from reality into their fantasy Of flight and song The multi colored feathers that softly vibrate against my ear, The different sounds and personalities Yet I let them carry on I listen at times with fascination Instead of fear Am I insane, I wonder Because I allow them to sing I never stifle their voice As they sing, I hear the melody that forms.
Their voices becoming one My name becomes their call Their song and freedom their survival. Their allowance is mine They keep me going, these many birds Of mine Chirping in my hair nest Settling in as their home Dancing from limb to limb Leaping from theme to theme At times it gets noisy But I am never alone For these birds, their voices, Are now a part of me, Becoming me United by song Feeling myself growing wings No longer tethered to the earth As I hear them sing I take flight with them, I soar up in the clouds, Over the ocean, Into the sunset The many voices, harmonizing Molding into one. Molding into mine.