On Monday morning I had a notification on my apple watch…
"You have a message in messenger"…
I immediately looked who it was from… it was Joel. My first biological cousin.
My heart jumped. Oh my God, he replied!
Then, it sank. The message could say anything.
I got another notification. It was so small on my watch, I couldn’t make it out, but it appeared to be a screen shot of a facebook page.
My heart jumped. Did he just send me my mother’s page???
Then, it sank. It could be anyone.
I texted Joy.
Her response: HOLY SH@*!!!!!!!! AND!!!!
And... I was scared to open it. Petrified to be honest.
I paused to think about how I wanted to do this...
My day was crazy, booked with both work and mommy duties. I wanted to open it when I had time to sit with it, with any and all the emotions. I didn’t want to be pulled away, or rattled with other things to do. I wanted to be calm. Ready. Present. No matter what it said.
Truth... I didn't know if I wanted to open it alone or be with someone.
I waited until that evening... In the quietness of my room... took a deep breath and alone, I opened it.
The screen shot he sent was the facebook page of his half brother who might have more information about his father, who would be a sibling to one of my parents. Joy and I facetimed to discuss. A few minutes later, I was sending my newest known relative a facebook message explaining who I am and how, if he wanted, could help me identify one or both of my biological parents.
Just then, Joel came back online.
I sent him a message thanking him for his help. And letting him know how much it meant to me.
The thought that there are other family members who could have been through a similar experience in some or any way was amazing, overwhelming and interesting beyond belief.
I expressed how stoked I was to have him as a cousin. =) He told me to reach out to his brother. "He should be able to get you closer to your bio parents." He ended his message with "Thanks, family is awesome!"
I was left with a warmth from the first encounter with a relative. One I'm grateful for. One I respect and admire. One I can't wait to hear more about.
So, for now, I’m waiting to hear back from his half brother, another cousin of mine, who according to my adoption papers and his facebook page, lives in the same state as my birth family did. I could be getting closer… I am getting closer.
But whatever does happen, I have connected with my first relative. A really cool cousin. Who I just sent another message to so I can hear him tell me his story. His family side. Because they are a piece of me. They're my family. The one I've been searching for.
We’ll see what happens next… and I’ll keep you posted.