In my mothers room I stood
Looking at her belongings.
Her prayer plaques, her jewelry.
Attempting to grasp that she is gone.
Now only him and I.
A person I have tried to avoid.
His rage something I feared.
His lack of impulse control annoying.
His crave to be seen and heard amplified.
While the absence of her vibrates my soul.
My loneliness louder than his temper.
His tantrums, crying out,
His inability to see past his own emotions.
While I only see how he neglected her,
How he neglected us.
I now only see a child in him.
In front of me.
I now see his inability to be much more
I now see how I have neglected him.
I too want to scream out in an inward pain.
Wanting, wishing to be seen.
I too have a rage inside I am scared of.
A lack of control I can't deny.
A craving to be heard and seen amplified.
I look into the anger in his eyes.
The distain, the pain.
I relate as the same fury resonates and bubbles within me.
Coursing through my veins with a chilled pulse.
We aren't so different,
You and me.
In my mother's room.